At some point in our lives, we all go through periods of self doubt. With school about to start, I’ve been feeling the post graduation blues more than normal. In a few short weeks many of my friends will be settling back into the hustle of juggling classes, part time jobs, extracurriculars and their social lives. For me, that lifestyle that I’ve become so accustomed to will be replaced with going to work, stressing over bills, and figuring out how to be a successful adult. I thought I would be further along in my adulting than I actually am. Not being satisfied where I am right now drives me to grind and better my situation, but when things don’t change overnight I begin to criticize myself. What could I be doing right now to better myself? Why haven’t I made as much progress by now as I would have hoped? It’s great to have goals and set expectations, but being overly critical of yourself can only add to your problems. Sometimes things take time to form, and certain situations may just be out of your hands altogether. If you’re feeling stuck, there are a couple things to remember so you don’t get too hard on yourself:
Not knowing what’s next doesn’t make you inadequate.
A lot of times I think that if I had a set plan, it would be easier for me to accomplish more. That’s not true at all. The best part about being young and not knowing what’s next is you get to try everything and see what you like and what you don’t. Take this time to explore, and use it as a time to learn about yourself and grow from your experiences.
Focus on the now.
We all like to think ahead and make plans for the future, but no matter how hard we try, plans always change. Being so caught up in reaching certain milestones by certain times leaves room for disappointment if things don’t pan out exactly how you want. By focusing on what’s been placed in front of you presently, it makes it easier to roll with the punches and not beat yourself up when things change.
Don’t take rejection personal.
I have been out of school for about 3 months, and I have been rejected from a lot more jobs than I’d like to admit. No matter how much it hurts, you cannot take rejection personal or it will drive you crazy. It is inevitable, and it is something we all deal with. Whether it is a job or a relationship, rejection is just a sign that there is something better suited for you out there. I know it sucks, but you have to tend your wounds, pick your head up, and be sure to keep pushing through until you find that something better.
Always make sure you are your biggest fan.
The only way to get others to believe in you is if you believe in yourself. Even when you’re not feeling your best you have to push past those feelings and always remain confident in your talents. You have to be the one to cheer yourself on through the tough times.
Surround yourself with people that inspire and uplift you.
Sometimes pep talking ourselves just isn’t enough. Getting that extra support from our friends is just what we need to get going and get unstuck. Whenever I’m feeling especially upset I always look for a pick me up from my closest friends. Make sure your friends are constantly motivating you to work towards your goals, and not keeping you stagnant.
Make time to relax and unwind.
I have plans, ideas, and ways to accomplish my goals running through my head all the time, and it can be a little overwhelming. In order to relax, I vibe out to some of my favorite music, or binge watch my shows on Netflix. Taking time to de-stress is a great way to rid your mind of negative thoughts and come back more focused on what’s in front of you.
Take time to celebrate what you have accomplished so far.
Sometimes we get so caught up in what we want we don’t take the time out to appreciate what we have right now. It’s important to celebrate milestones and remember that progress is always good, no matter how big or small. Take time out your day to pat yourself on the back for all you’ve accomplished and use it to motivate you to accomplish more.
When I’m feeling especially down on myself, the most important thing I try to remember is to stay positive. I’m a big believer in transferring of energies, and the more negative energy you transfer into the world around you, the more that negativity will be reflected back on you. Staying positive helps turn the tides, and before you know it things begin to look up. No matter what may seem wrong, don’t internalize those things as a reflection of yourself. Doubting yourself only diminishes your light, and you deserve to shine. So get out that funk, pick your chin up and get shit done!