Opinion

Why Bother Me When You Know You Don’t Want Me?

In an effort to love without the repercussions of being hurt, people tend to seek a deep emotional connection without calling it love. This is done as a safety precaution to shield their heart. In a situationship you have all components of a committed relationship. The only difference is there's no title or true commitment, which is a dangerous game to play.

There’s a new way of dating that people are involved in, which lasts a few months with “no strings attached” then ends in expectations not being met. This fad is referred to as a situationship:

A relationship that has no label. It’s like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.

In an effort to love without the repercussions of being hurt, people tend to seek a deep emotional connection without calling it love. This is done as a safety precaution to shield their heart. In a situationship you have all components of a traditional relationship. The only difference being that there’s no title or commitment, which is a dangerous game to play. Couples develop feelings as they spend time with one another and quickly begin to realize that this new way of dating comes with an abundance of confusion. Insecurities begin to form and the feeling of not being enough for the other person to commit to is constantly on your mind. Playing off of your insecurities and constantly questions your worth can form depression.

Hearing the person you are falling for say, “I want you to myself but I still want to see other people at the same time. You can’t get mad because you know, we aren’t together” is devastating. I wouldn’t recommend getting involved in a situationship unless you have a way of completely blocking all emotions. Save yourself the pain, heartache, confusion and uncertainty.

A person that is for you will choose you no matter what. A person that wants you will do everything they can to prove they want to be in your life. Things like texting, calling, dates, visiting and making time won’t be a hassle. It won’t seem like you’re asking for too much because everything will flow and their intentions will be clear.

Instead of taking part in an unhealthy whirlwind of a non-relationship, make the choice to heal and work towards the loving relationship you’re longing for. Perhaps, remaining friends (not in the like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship kind of way) until you’re ready for commitment. Date with a purpose. Like SZA said, “why you bother me when you know you don’t want me?”

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