Let’s take a walk down memory lane. Close your eyes and reflect of the best sexual experience you ever had. Everything was copacetic until…
Your partner kills the mood by asking what your body count is. I get it! All partners you encounter should be concerned about safe consensual sex. It’s their right to know you’ve been safe, if the two of you are sexually involved. There’s a shameful double standard that women are held to when it comes to promiscuity. “You really had sex with him? You’re such a slut!” However, men are praised. “You’re the man Dan!”
Yet, here you are in the middle of a good time wondering if you should drag the skeletons from your closet. Who do you consider when you calculate your body count? Do you include the one night stands? The “real relationships”? Freshman year? We all know that time was rough. No longer under your parent’s roof… YIKES!
Whether you choose a particular number or not, recollecting your past sexual encounters may be painful to discuss, truth be told. It may bring back thoughts of when your self worth wasn’t strong. But, who’s to say that having sex means you have no self worth? Does it make you less of a woman because you’re sexually experienced?
The problem with the body count question is, it’s almost an invasion of privacy and borderline demeaning. Unless your partner has had sex with your friend or someone you know, why ask? What is the purpose of knowing this specific information? What people should be concerned with is if their partner was safe when participating in these sexual acts. A woman’s worth shouldn’t be determined by her number of sexual partners or experiences. There are more respectful ways of asking about sexual history. Such as, waiting until you and your partner have evolved enough to ask. Your delivery could also play a role in how your partner receives the question. Another tip is to be sensitive to their response. Choose not to react until you know the extent of their experiences.
Your sexual journey is private and you are not obligated to share every detailed experience. But know there may come a point when this subject arrives. So ladies, if he asks you this question school him. Let them know how it makes you feel. Just remember your “body count” doesn’t determine your worth or who you are. If they leave, let them. They just weren’t the one, sis.