Love Is Pain

By reading the title one would think that I agree with the statement. Truth is I disagree. Love is NOT pain.

Love doesn’t harm you. A person that doesn’t know how to love, harms you. Don’t misinterpret the two.

Many of us have a perfect idea of what love is. Unfortunately, our perception of what love can be skewed. Today’s generation believes love hurts. In fact, some people equate abuse with love. Whether it be physical, mental, or emotional abuse, love itself is not painful. Within a relationship, love is a spiritual connection amongst two people. It’s an energy that is unimaginable. It’s a strong warmth that is hard to ignore.

Going through a breakup that resulted in cheating, abuse, or dishonesty pushes the narrative that love hurts. Divorce hurts, death hurts, envy hurts, and rejection hurts. People who have developed this mindset have begun to think that they are the same. When really, love is the only thing in this world that doesn’t hurt. Feeling loved takes the pain away.

Don’t get me wrong. I know how it feels to be “damaged goods”. The feeling of being broken beyond repair. I was in a relationship for two and half years. The first year we were in love and the second year he was going through the motions. I hurt him first but he hurt me times ten and conceived a baby during a break that we took. We worked it out and then one summer he vanished. No text or call. Just gone. I thought that was tough but it got worse. We reconnected months later and he informed me that he was engaged. Yes! ENGAGED! It had only been two months and the man I was with for two and a half years was about to get married. The worst part of all, he convinced me that he called the engagement off. I was so in love that I didn’t want to see through the bullsh*t. Long story short, he didn’t call the engagement off. Now that hurt.

Sometimes we get so caught up with being with someone that isn’t good for us, we lose ourselves in the process.

Afterwards, I learned self-worth. From that point on I focused on self-elevation. I’ve since healed and become a better version of me. Throughout the turmoil, I never gave up on love. It wasn’t love that hurt me. It was him that hurt me because he no longer knew how to love me. I hurt myself also. I chose to stay in a bad situation and I own that. Truth is, hurt people, hurt people.

I’m not saying a relationship will not face difficulties. Every relationship or friendship will be tested but it’s the love that’s endless. A person that loves you, will always show you that they love you. Someone who truly loves you, will love all of your imperfections. They’ll see those flaws as perfections. True love doesn’t hinder your growth or manipulate you. True love wants to help you level up and see you succeed. It sees and appreciates the person you are.

Love flows naturally, it isn’t forced or pressured. It’s absolutely effortless. The next time someone says “love is pain,” enlighten them. What they’re feeling simply isn’t love.

Like Summer Walker said, “you don’t know what love is.”